


home again

by antoniohiggins



Series: tumblr requests (newsies) [5]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lawyer!Spot, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, dance teacher/dance student!race, race is sad but he still loves him so much, spot messed up Big Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 16:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13999803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antoniohiggins/pseuds/antoniohiggins
Summary: another one-shot for an amazing anon on tumblr:)also this is my 20th work which is kinda a big deal to me so I really hope you guys like this and yeah thanks for supporting me and all thatprompts are: “I made a mistake” & “I never meant to hurt you”





	home again

It had been almost two years since Racetrack Higgins had last seen Spot Conlon. In less than one day, they wen’t from completely and utterly in love to going their separate ways with no explanation.

It was their junior year of college, the two boys nearing their five-year anniversary, when everything they had built together had come crashing down.

Spot, a law student nearing the end of his degree, had been working for an internship with one of the most renowned law firms in the country his entire college career, and now he felt like he might actually have a chance. The final reveal of the applicants that were to be selected was getting closer and closer and Spot had two problems.

One being that the firm was all the way across the country. Los Angeles, to be exact.

Problem number two; Race had no idea.

Yeah, that was kind-of a big one. For the past few years he had been working on his applications, all the while keeping his boyfriend completely in the dark. It wasn’t really on purpose, but more like he just kept putting it off and to tell him three years later would just make everything worse.

So when he opened his email one day to see a plane ticket and a ‘congratulations’ letter, he knew he was in too deep. The internship would give him enough credits to do the second semester of the year abroad and still be back in time to take the bar exam, but he couldn’t just leave.

But, he did. He and his overwhelmed decision making packed a bag, booked a flight, and left one night without looking back for more than a second. He was in California the next morning, a new job and new apartment paid for by the firm’s program on the horizon, and a life he loved, his friends, and the love of his life left behind.

To say that the following morning was the worst of Race’s life was the biggest understatement possible. He could hardly think for the next few days as he kept texting, calling, and trying every possible method to get a hold of Spot, but nothing seemed to work. He did everything, but after a week alone had passed, he knew something was wrong. He called Spot’s mother and asked her if she had any idea where he was. Considering he was afraid he might worry her, the response he got instead was incredibly surprising.

_“Honey, he’s in Los Angeles! I guess I just assumed he’d bring you with him.”_

She had spoken as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Despite that, Race hung up the phone, set in down on his desk in their shared dorm room, and cried. His boyfriend, the person he had loved for almost five years, had just _left_. Without even a simple mention of where he was going.

Nothing he had ever felt hurt as bad as that moment.

So for the following months, Race struggled to remember how he ever survived alone. Their friends were just as pissed, but the problem with being college students three years into student loans was that none of them could even come close to being able to travel across the country.

And that was that. Race did what he had to do to move on and he got pretty damn close. Nearly two years later and he had started considering going on a date again. Sure, no one would ever be Spot, but he could pretend. Besides, it wasn’t like Spot was an option anymore.

Race, however, was always the end goal for Spot. Not a day went by when he didn’t open that boy’s contact on his phone and come millimeters away from dialing his number and explaining everything, but he never did. Instead, he finished his internship, and planned to go back home.

But then came the job offer.

The firm offered him a job as a junior assistant with the promise of a proper title as soon as he graduated. He only had one year left before he would get his degree, Race probably hated his guts already, and it wasn’t like another opportunity like that would ever come again, so he accepted. He officially moved to California, started working part time at the firm while he continued his classes at a local university instead, and passed the bar exam with flying colors.

All things he did imagining Race right there beside him, but to no avail.

So when the firm opened a string of new branches across the country, Spot was the first one to apply for the one set to open in New York City. He didn’t care if he was wanted back or not, he was willing to do anything at that point.

He was an easy choice for the job.

Meanwhile, Race still spent nights in Spot’s empty bed when he needed some form of physical reassurance. It wasn’t Spot, whether he actually wanted it to be or not, but it definitely helped.

It wasn’t a surprise for him to be wearing an oversized and well-worn NYU Law hoodie on the day everything changed again.

He was biking down to the studio, just like he did almost every other day, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he chained up his bike outside and walked into the lobby. .

Teaching dance classes for extra class credits was an easy opportunity. Dancing was his dream and if he had to try to teach tweens how to do things he taught himself at age seven in order to make it, he was more than willing.

Now, with this job came few changes. New kids would join occasionally and others would leave, but other than that he was certain he had the most boring job in the whole city.

But, like most things, it did eventually change. It was unexpected and uncomfortable and fiercely unwanted.

Race came into work after class one Friday afternoon, locked up his bike like he always did, but just as he went to warm up in the empty studio, everything started changing.

For the first time in the past year-and-a-half he wasn’t alone.

“Sean?”

It was as if he couldn’t control the words coming out of his mouth. He didn’t want to see him, in fact he never wanted to see him ever again, but yet there he was. Spot was right there in front of him and everything he had planned to say if he ever saw him again was suddenly gone.

“Tony, I don’t-“

“Stop,” Race interrupted, stepping backwards as Spot came near him. The way the boy’s face fell slightly shouldn’t have made him feel bad, but yet Race wanted so badly to just…be held. “You don’t get to just _show up_ after almost _two goddamn years_ , Sean! You don’t just get to _leave me behind_ , leave _all of us_ behind and never explain yourself! I…I lost _everything_ when you left.”

He hadn’t meant for his voice to crack at the end, he hadn’t meant to yell, snd he most definitely never meant for the tears to start spilling down his cheeks.

But Spot seemed to take a hint. He backed off, turning and picking his coat back up and heading for the door.

“Wait!” Race legitimately surprised himself for once.

Spot stopped, turning back to face the other, a sad yet hopeful look across his face. Race couldn’t help but notice the glossiness in his eyes.

“Don’t…leave me alone again,” he mumbled almost too quietly to hear, but there still weren’t any kids in the studio yet, which meant Spot stood stock-still and shaking.

He’d never felt so awful in his entire life.

You see, he get through his time in California by convincing himself of things until they made sense in his head.

He told himself that his friends would hardly notice he was gone, that he never fit in with them anyway. He told himself that he’d never be able to be happy in New York, that the only way he’d ever be able to be successful was to go across the country.

But he told himself that Race wouldn’t miss him. That he was probably bored of their relationship and would just be glad to get rid of him for a while at least.

He never let himself imagine that he could be hurting just as much.

“‘Tonio, you shouldn’t forgive me, I don’t deserve it, but I just need you to know... **I never meant to hurt you** ,” Spot whispered, practically pleading. “I just...didn’t think you would actually miss me.”

“You…what?” Race’s stand-offish tone dissipated and simply stood there staring at the other.

Spot sniffled a little, groaning and running his hands through his hair.

“I don’t know,” he started, retreating back into his shell just as quickly as he had opened up. “You know what, it’s stupid. I was an asshole and I was completely inconsiderate of you and your feelings, that’s all that matters. I should just leave you alone, I’m sorry Tony.”

Spot quickly turned on his heel, practically ran to the door, and let the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach take over. He had messed up. _Again_.

Race didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve Spot showing up after almost two years, and he definitely didn’t deserve Spot’s weak apology.

But maybe none of that mattered as much as Spot seemed to think it did.

“Sean, we were together for almost _five years_ ,” Race spoke, grabbing the boy’s arm before he could make it out the door of the studio. “If you needed me out of your life, you could’ve told me.”

The look on his face was so heartbroken and guilty and in that very moment Spot understood why Race didn’t seem to be as mad as he should have been.

He thought it was his fault. He thought he had done something and that was why Spot left. He spent the past year-and-a-half thinking he was the one that ruined the greatest thing in both of their lives.

“Oh my god Tony, no no no. You had nothing to do with this,” Spot rambled, turning back around to face the boy and taking in the tears running freely down his cheeks. “ **I...I made a mistake**. That’s on me and only me. You never did anything but treat me so much better than I ever deserved and I just threw it all away.”

Race just looked down at his feet and nodded, sniffling a little.

“Thank you,” he whispered, surprising Spot at his reaction. “I guess I just always thought I had it coming. I always thought you were too good for me and when you left I sort of just told myself I should just be glad I even got any time with you at all, but I-“

“I did this,” Spot interrupted, catching Race’s gaze with some...unreadable expression that could only be described as someone who just realized that he just crushed the spirit of the one person in the world that he loved more than anything. “ _I_ did this to you. I _ruined_ the one thing in life that made me happy and I made you pay the price for it. _Fuck_ , I don’t even know what to say to you right now, T.”

So instead Race just put his arms around the boy’s neck and held on tight. He held him tight because all he had needed for nearly two years was a hug from someone who truly felt like home and, despite everything, that was Spot. The latter froze at first, barely processing that Race had actually _hugged_ him rather than punched him. He wrapped his arms around Race’s waist and curled his hands into the back of his shirt, holding on tighter than ever.

“I made the biggest mistake of my life, Tony,” Spot spoke into Race’s shoulder, his words slightly muffled by the boy’s clothes, but they were so close that Race heard every word. “I made that mistake once and I realized the moment it was too late that I had just lost the only thing that mattered and I swear to you that I will never leave you again unless you want me to. I’m not asking you to pick back up where we left off or anything, but I still care about you and, if you want to still be a part of my life, I’d be honored to be a part of yours again.”

Spot could feel Race’s breath hitch against his neck as his heartbeat quickened and the boy nodded, holding onto Spot even tighter.

“For real? You’re serious?” Spot pulled back, amazed as Race nodded yet again, a watery smile no longer being held back. “Oh my god thank you, thank you, _thank you so much_.”

“I missed you,” Race spoke softly, burying his face in the crook of Spot’s neck once again.

And they just stood together for a while, both of them just completely amazed that they were even back in each other’s arms again after so long.

That was, until Race’s class began and a little girl no older than ten stuck her head in the door.

“Mr. Higgins? Can we start now?” She spoke up, stepping inside as the two boys flew apart, blushing wildly as the little girl put her hands on her hips and jutted out her tutu-covered hip.

Race chuckled nervously, walking over to the door and opening it, quickly apologizing as he led the group of little girls inside.

“Alright ladies, how about we get into our stretching spots while I talk to your parents real quick, okay?” The girls all nodded and went to spread out through the room as Race and Spot ducked outside.

“I’ll call you as soon as my class is done, but if it’s okay, maybe we could go to dinner tonight?” Race offered as Spot grinned.

“I’d love that.”

Spot took his hand briefly, before leaving the building, the widest smile of his life on his face. They still had so many things to fix before they could even think about going back to how they used to be, but this was more than Spot had ever expected and, for the first time in a _long_ time, they were both perfectly happy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to everyone for reading!!
> 
> I love comments and kudos so much so thank you in advance to everyone who does:)
> 
> if you would like a one-shot like this, feel free to send me a message on tumblr @tony-higgins!
> 
> <3


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